Tech Start Up Creates “WEARABLE TECHNOLOGY” That Walks and Eats For You

Palo Alto, CA.
A silicone valley tech start up is introducing the next step in advanced human technology that will replace our daily tasks, such as walking, eating, and any type of general bodily movement. The start up, Botcom, will release the device, currently named RoBo2. The technology is stitched into the lining of clothes – shirts, pants, and shoes – while a custom hat serves as a transmitter.

“The concept is actually quite simple. RoBo2 detects the brainwaves that control any type of movement an instant before it travels to your arms, legs, or feet, and then the device essentially takes care of the movement for you. So if you are sitting on the couch, you simply have to just think about crossing your legs, and the device will cross your legs for you – no need to go through the work of straining that leg muscle to lift one leg and place it on the other. When you want to grab a glass for a drink, same concept, just think about it and RoBo2 does all the work,” said Botcom founder and president Seymour Ruomy.

Critics to the new technology have noted the inaccuracy of certain actions during initial tests.

“Test subjects were seen falling when attempting to walk, causing bodily injury, as well as pouring liquids, such as coffee or red wine, on the face and chest versus into the mouth. Obviously our concern is the serious public embarrassment and self esteem implications at risk. This device is not even close to ready for public release,” noted Professor Mel Nivlem of Stanford State.

Ruomy added, “We have done extensive research, and found that this is what humans want – to expend as little effort as possible, and do the minimal amount of work in their daily lives. Our theory is that this will then open up more room for the mind to expand and teach itself that it has more control over us. As homo sapiens, our mind is our biggest asset. Every other species out there has arms, legs, feet – that is the easy stuff, so why take the time and use the energy to do it? We should be focused on working out our brains to do the work for us. It’s not laziness, quite the opposite – it’s just shuffling our physical and mental priorities.”

“For launch, we are focusing on arms, legs, and feet, but in Q1 2016, we plan to expand to the eyes and ears, and then by Q4, to the genitals, to make the act of intercourse completely effortless, yet just as, if not more, enjoyable.”

Initial beta release for RoBo2 is currently set for April of 2015.