Georgia Man Cuts Off Penis To Stop Masturbating

AUGUSTA, Georgia –

Paramedics and police were called to Jonas Etcher’s mobile home Tuesday night after a frantic call came from his mother saying her son had sawed off his penis with an electric carving knife.

“He’s really been struggling with masturbation,” Ellen Etcher told WRDW. “He knows it’s against Jesus, but has been self-pleasuring up to a dozen times a day. He can’t seem to find a girl to get his sex urges out on… we’ve tried Match.com, Craigslist.”

Etcher, 52, believed he would go to hell if he didn’t stop masturbating. So he took drastic measures by cutting off what he called his “sinful part.”

Doctors normally would have attempted to reattach the penis but Etcher had thrown his dismembered penis to a neighbor dog who had eaten most of it.

“I had told him that maybe we could have had somebody build a metal glove with razor sharp spikes on the palm and fingers that could have been permanently padlocked to his penis and prevented him from masturbating,” Ellen said.

“But he said that would have “been itchy.” So I guess he thought sawing his thing off was the better solution. I am proud of him from trying to lead a life of purity, but now he’s going to have to go on disability as he won’t be able to work at Applebee’s while he recovers.”

Doctors said he will make a full recovery but will now be required to wear a catheter and urine bag.