Conrad Hilton Beat Up By Ninja Stewardesses

LOS ANGELES, Ca.

Conrad Hilton, the baby brother of Paris, recently turned himself in to the FBI for causing a major commotion on a 10 hour airline flight, where he made statements such as “I can own anyone on this flight. You flight attendants are peasants to me! Peasants, all of you!”

Conrad was released on $100,000 bond and later that evening was jumped by 3 unknown female stewardesses. Conrad attempted to fight back and warned the ladies that he had a black belt in Kung Fu, but the women easily overpowered him with apparent Ninjutsu skills, pummeling him to the ground, while Hilton’s bodyguard stood by and watched.

Brutus Orlando, the bodyguard, talked about his reluctance to step in:

“I ain’t getting in no beef with these ladies, this was straight up ninja sh*t! I know he’s my client and I failed big time in my job, but I couldn’t get myself to step in. I fly a lot and would never want to be put on these gals sh*t list..they kicked his butt real real good.”

Though still not identified, the Ninja stewardesses, or “Wings of 3” as they call themselves, released a statement saying that “rich idiots like this little brat need to be made an example of. This kid will get a little slap on the wrist for sure, instead of the maximum 20 years in which the court allows. We are glad we could deliver at least a tiny bit of ninja like justice.”

And that black belt Hilton claims to hold? According to reports from fellow students at the dojo he trained at, Hilton would attend maybe one class a month and after 6 months it is speculated he went from white to black belt with the assistance of a brand new Bentley SUV given to the co-owner of the facility.