Study Shows “Pet Rock” Owners Became Rich and Religious

Was the Holy Spirit unknowingly infused into the infamous Pet Rock product of the 70’s?

The creator and inventor of the popular Pet Rock has passed away. Gary Dahl was 78 and had created one of the greatest products of all time, the pet rock. Launched in 1975, he went on to make millions off of the pet which required no housebreaking or feeding.

A recent study suggests that pet rock owners have all become very wealthy and incredibly spiritually in tune with God since purchasing their pet rock. The study looked at all the registration forms which owners sent in to certify their new pet. They then followed up 35 years later on these same individuals, discovering that the minimum income was well above $375,000 with many reaching the 5-10 million dollar range in yearly earnings. All individuals were incredibly religious with heavy devotion to a higher power.

Sue Markolotiv, a senior analyst for the study states the following, “This could very well be traced back to ancient scripture. The one passage in particular reads: ‘I (Holy Spirit) will take the form of a simple stone and will be peddled by unsuspected means providing riches and religious prophecy onto my possessors.’ So, in fact, Dahl could be seen as a conduit for infusing millions of people with the holy spirit and riches to follow.”

Yet in later years, a noticeable number of pet rock owners who gained wealth and spiritual prowess, suddenly died by horrific fashion.

One certified owner died from a paper airplane which was thrown by the individual, circling back and entering the ear canal, fatally striking brain tissue.

Another mysterious death had to do with a beer bottle suddenly dissolving into the pet rock owner’s mouth and subsequently glass being lodged in the throat causing a violent choking death.

Markolitiv suggests the owners had purposely discarded their pet rock, thus possibly upsetting the infused higher power, or at least making it vulnerable for Satan to take over and cast a nefarious spell upon the owner.

The paper airplane victim had peddled his rock off at a yard sale for a dollar only a week prior to his death.