A wonderful advancement in prostrate exam training was revealed this week. It is a model butt named “Patrick” which is being used as a training tool for students to practice their craft of the prostrate exam.
Patrick is a virtual robotic rear end which actually communicates and can speak to the practitioner.
“Patrick is endowed with force sensors, which can alert the student when he or she is being too aggressive,” states the medical website promoting Pat.
Unfortunately for the medical community, the internet has turned Patrick, this extremely helpful student training tool, into a device with other intentions, mainly sexual in nature. Requests have been pouring in by the tens of thousands with inquires on how they can order a robotic Patrick butt of their own that will talk to them and guide them through the best anal based sexual performances possible.
“We have had massive calls from, what I suspect to be gay males. Many of the voices appear the same, a bit high pitched and feminine, very enthusiastic and very, very interested in how they can order one of our Patricks,” says Barbara Hershey from the manufacturing plant where Pat is produced.
Barbara adds, “There have also been a massive amount of men, clearly trying to conceal their voices, I can’t tell you how many phone calls I’ve received this week from a “Joe Smith” who wonders if the packaging will be well concealed, I suspect so his wife or kids don’t see it. We even have had collect calls from several hundred prison inmates across the country as well.”
Patrick the robotic butt is blowing up the internet, but for all the wrong reasons says Dr. Coctosin-Tosin, who has been in prostrate practice for 57 years. “By golly this is a serious training tool that is going to help our future students stimulate the actual smooth and curvy lush feel of the buttocks, the squeeze parameter sensations, and of course the anal stimulation areas to trigger, or rather avoid.”
The Doctor continued, “Do you know that back in my day as students we had to take turns prodding and probing each other’s anal orifices so we could all get a feel of what the patient would be undergoing?
“Now we have this wonderful simulation tool and these damn gays, closet or otherwise I don’t really care, these gays are turning it into a tool for sexual deviation goddamnit!”
Other physicians are not as opposed to the sale and manufacturing of Patrick for sexual intention. “I think it’s great as it is only going to bring more revenue to the medical field. Everyone knows we can use the funding for medical advancement research, and seeing how the demand is so outrageously strong for Patrick being used as an improvement for sexual performance via anal entry, this could be our golden goose right here,” says Dr. Morosie from Baltimore.
No word yet on when or if Patrick will be available for consumer purchase.