News Ticker

Feces Scratch N Sniff Sticker Sent To Obama

WASHINGTON DC –

The government is in mandatory lock down mode after a scratch n sniff feces sticker was apparently sent to the President on Tuesday. A note accompanied the sticker read, “Your policies STINK!”

Several mail room employees allowed their curiosity to get the better of them and ended up scratching and smelling the sticker. They ended up vomiting their recently consumed lunch from the cafeteria, due to the accuracy of the scratch n sniff snicker.

“It was like…I mean it really was like the smell of poo!” stated one mail room intern.

The president himself requested a sniff but Secret Service members are not allowing him to fulfill the curiosity. Michelle and the President’s daughters were also curious on the accuracy of the scent, and were also denied requests.

By mid-Tuesday afternoon, hundreds of White House staff and officials were all putting in requests to scratch and sample a sniff of the sticker, so much so that a mandatory 24-hour lock down period needed to be implemented in order to calm down all the curiosity.

In an attempt to further curb the curiosity, several senior-trained Secret Service members scratched and sniffed the sticker to verify to curious White House staff that the smell was indeed “fairly accurate to what you would expect by looking at the image.”

Unfortunately that only heightened curiosity while increasing requests. As a result the 24-hour lock down period may be extended to 48-hours.

If necessary a raffle will be implemented where ten lucky winners will be randomly selected to sample the sticker with one sniff. White House medical staff will be on hand in case anyone feels queasy after their sample sniff.