Bruce Jenner Applying Eyeliner And Lipstick During Accident
As updated news is breaking regarding recently discovered video footage of the fatal crash that Bruce Jenner was involved in, we are now learning that Bruce was the one who struck BOTH cars, as MTA bus video reveals the Lexus never did strike the Prius as Jenner originally claimed.
According to insiders who viewed the footage, other apparent revelations show Jenner possibly appearing to apply eyeliner and lipstick during the crash.
As Jenner will now likely face serious charges of vehicular manslaughter, if the eyeliner and lipstick application is in fact revealed through video, it may actually be used in Jenner’s favor.
“It’s actually a solid defense given that Bruce is trying to change himself into a lady. Obviously, at age 65, he has little experience with eyeliner application, or proper lipstick placement. Both these beautification techniques take months of practice to perfect. The defense will likely call 14-16 year old girls to the stand to testify how much of a learning curve beginner makeup application involves. As far as driving while applying, well you can ask any woman worth her salt that beautification behind the wheel is completely normal and absolutely acceptable. Every lady who cares about her looks does it, and that’s a fact,” states legal analyst and former hair dresser Paul Russofield.
When asked if the severity of the recklessness outweighs the plight of transforming oneself into a woman, Russofield replies:
“Look, everyone is sympathetic to what Bruce is doing. His courageous shift from male dominant athlete, to a pretty feminine public figure, is nothing short of heroic. It’s natural he is going to have trouble with make up and such, and I really can’t see any jury faulting the man for simply wanting to freshen his lips up with a soft magenta shade that is not too pronounced or gawdy, but subtle enough to still be able to flatter the face.”
Malibu police are currently reviewing the footage to determine what charges will be brought against Jenner.